The Art of Self Destruction
by Ously Salvation
Summary: Kenny is the bad kid with an even worse reputation. Butters is the sweet kid with a passion to make everyone a better person. Everything is heavy when you get opposites together. Bunny is our main couple, But I love Style and Creek, so they are in there too. Rated M for eventual tumbling under the sheets, plus all the swearing and horror you love from the show. No flames. Ously. :)
1. Are you talking to Me?

**Ously's pre-notes**

**Chapter titles go along with the song I ask you to listen to.**

**I AM GOING CRAZY WHILE WRITING THIS! I swear, I've tried at least ten different ideas for this same pairing and I swear if this one isn't perfect, I'm going to rip out all my hair. I've been wanting to do a Kenny and Butters fic for a minute. I think I might have something, but I'm going to leave that all up to you. Please Rate Review and all that happy shit.**

**Here's the song I'd like you to listen to while you enjoy (or hate) this story.**

**Respect- Pantera.**

**URL:**

** watch?v=tZsFLRQpOTM**

**And now enjoy my horrible story.**

**With love, as Always,**

**Ously.**

* * *

Kenny POV

This had to be it. The very last straw that was either going to land me in jail or expelled from school.

Great, just fucking great.

"Now, Mr. McCormick, you know I don't like seeing you here, M'kay?" I laughed, "Feeling is mutual, Mackly." I retorted, not bothering to meet his eyes. but he pressed on, "You aren't telling me everything, M'kay. If you were, you wouldn't be acting like this, M'kay."

Oh yeah, like I was just supposed to admit that my family is the biggest cesspool of pig shit that this little poduc town had to offer. That would risk me being taken apart from my sister and that was something that just wasn't going to happen. "I all ready said that I'm fine at home. What more do you want from me? My grades are better and all that shit." "Kenny, no swearing, M'kay." Mackly reminded me, and I duly nodded.

"But still, why the fu-heck are you arguing with my progress?" "Kenny, if someone hadn't stopped you, you wouldn't be talking to me; you'd be talking to an officer of the law, M'kay." I sighed at the valid point, "What, do you still think I should?" I asked, and he shook his head, "Of course not, Mr. McCormick; I still think you're a good kid with good qualities," "Good, then let's end this meeting." "But that doesn't mean you can get off easy, M'kay? You still got to be punished."

"Oh, great, and just when I thought this day could turn into something decent. Okay, what do you got? Help pick up trash for the environmental club? Paint sets for drama, equipment manage the football team?" I said, rambling off things I'd done in the past.

But this time Mackly shook his head, "No, I want you to show up here at this address on Saturday morning 9 a.m., M'kay? If not, I'll send someone to wake you up."

9 a.m; A time of the day that did not register on a Saturday. He groaned, "Fine, whatever, yeah I'll go. But what exactly will I be doing?" Mackly gave him a rather devious smile, "Show up to find out."

Stan and Kyle, my two best friends who were also... together, I think (Those groans coming from Kyle's room when I was forced to take the couch when I slept over there couldn't be from nothing), were waiting outside Mackly's door for me. "So, what's the damage?" Kyle asked . "I'm going here on Saturday; either of you two recognize the address?"

Kyle and Stan looked at the paper with a bit of confusion, "No, never heard of it, but it's in town I know that." "Well, no shit, Sherlock." I said. Kyle flipped me off, "Hey, you asked for my answer and you got it. Look, don't piss Mackly off anymore than needed. Unlike a lot of teachers here, he's actually a decent guy."

We stepped out of the school, "Yeah, yeah." I said, lighting a cigarette. "Hey Butters!" Stan called and I sighed.

Butters Stotch was a decent kid, I guess, but he couldn't handle anything I do. He chided me about my smoking, like it was his business. He tried to help me with my school work, like it was his business. He annoyed the shit out of me sometimes, which I think he should go into business for.

I get it; he's a nice kid who just wants everyone to be a better person. Unfortunately he was born here in South Park, Colorado. Nothing changes here.

"Hey Stan, Kyle!" He said cheerily, and stood up from his sitting position.

Wait, did that bastard just ignore me?

Well, who gives a fuck?

"What are you guys doing here so late?" He asked as sweetly as could be. Sugary sweet; like he was covering his whole conversation with the icing you get in the cinnamon bun packs...

Great, now I'm hungry.

"Waiting on our delinquent friend here." Kyle said and I blew smoke out of my mouth, "Fuck you, asshole." Butters nodded, "Ah, I see... well I'm just waiting on Wendy and Bebe to get back from dropping off Clyde and Token. Then we're gonna head to the mall to get some things for the play and stuff."

I laughed a little outwardly, and Butters frowned at me, "Something funny about singing and dancing and having fun without breaking a law or an arm, eh, _Kenneth_?"

The three of us stared at him; Butters didn't say things like that to ANYONE. And nobody used my full name; I don't care who you are. I stepped toward him, "Yeah _Leopold,_ I think all that stuff is pretty ga-"

Kyle's hand clamped on my mouth before I could continue.

Butters smiled and waved at Stan and Kyle, "Well, fellas, it looks like my ride is here! Have a good day and have an even better weekend." and with that he skipped off.

and then Kyle released the death grip on my mouth, "What the actual fuck was that shit about?" I asked him. "I could ask you the same thing, Ken. I've never seen Butters act that way to anyone. What did you do to piss him off that bad?"

"Fuck you I didn't do anything! Fuck this, the horse that little asshole rode in on, his mother, grandmother, cousins but most importantly... FUCK HIM!" And I stormed off down the street; not wanting to do anything.

Especially not what Mackly had planned for me tomorrow.

* * *

Butters POV

"Sweetie, you are an idiot." Bebe said to me from the front seat. I groaned, "Fuck you, I all ready knew that!" Wendy, the most sensible friend I know, "Babe, I love you and the last thing I want to see is you hurt. Kenny McCormick is that last person you want to piss off. I don't care what the reason is."

"Look, why can't you guys just support me? Don't you think it's better if he hates me? Kenny is not gay and I don't want him to know..."

"That you're sawing morning wood for him?" Bebe said, and Wendy punched her in the arm, "Be nice, you bitch. But she's right; it isn't healthy that you want the one you like to show great hatred to you."

"And what would you have me do?"

Bebe smarted off again, "Well, I always found booze as a great relaxant."

I blushed, "Shut up!"

"Look, let's talk a little more over smoothies. We've got things to buy and... apparently some new guy coming in tomorrow so we've gotta get him up to speed on the dances. Mackly just sent me an email about it."

"Wonder who it could be?" I asked.

Wendy shrugged, "Well, we need guys and at this moment, I don't care who it is."

I smiled at my friends, "Well, let's not go to him unprepared. Shopping time."

and we got out of the car.

* * *

**Ously's post it notes**

**Damn this sucks right now. If you hate it... prease don't tell me. I really couldn't handle it now. I'm really stressed right now.**

**But if you liked it (Oh a miracle!) feel free to chat me up and or tell me what I could do to make it better.**

**R&R and then return to me.**

**With love, as Always, **

**Ously.**


	2. Let's get down to Business

**This has been neglected for way too long. I really hate myself because people keep telling me to update and I just... can't. So much writers block. Anybody got a cure? I'm serious about this one; I need some home made remedy.**

**Ugh, Done talking. Ready to attempt this second chapter.**

**Song of the Chapter- Eminem- Business**

**Chapter 2- Let's get down to business.**

* * *

Butters P.O.V.

There's something... empowering about the sun in the morning. I've felt that way since... well, forever! My parents had such strict guildelines on my bedtime curfew, I'd always wake up to see the sunrise in South Park. I suppose the trend just continued and never changed. Everybody wakes up at noon on Saturday's, except me.

"Good morning, Buttercup." Bebe said, walking in wearing her basketball shorts and tank top. "Sup, Bebe?" I responded as she handed me a cup of coffee. "Wendy's on her way in. Don't say anything cross to her; she was up last night sewing costumes."

"Always the hard way with her, huh?" I said, continuing the stretch I was in the middle of. I heard the door downstairs open. "She need any help?" I asked as Bebe began her stretch, "Doubtful, but she's hauling ass up those stairs... and those don't sound like her shoes. Wendy wouldn't be caught dead in heavy boots.

I turned towards the door to my nightmare.

"Kenny?!"

* * *

Kenny P.O.V.

"Gee, I feel welcome." That was pure exaggeration; I was up at 9:00 in the morning watching Bebe and Butters do some stretching and this is how I'm greeted? They should feel privledged to even be graced with my prescence this early on a Saturday.

"Do not tell me this is the extra _help_ Mackley promised us." Butters said, crossing his arms and scowling at Bebe. She only had a sly smile on her face.

"Did you have something to do with this Bebe?"

I highly doubted that; my own actions landed me here. "That's not really possible, Butterball. You see, I pounded Cartman's face into a desk and this is just where Mackley sent me. Unless Bebe and Wendy paid and or blew Cartman to get him to piss me off like he did, they had nothing to do with it."

He scrunched the bridge of the nose, "I really didn't do anything Butters, I swear... I just think it's rather funny, you know."

"Fuck you bitch." He said to her, not even looking at me. "I can feel the love." I say softly, before getting hit in the face with clothes "I'd rather you feel the burn of stretching. Are you planning on changing anytime soon?"

Stretching? Sweats? You have got to be kidding me. Personally I wish he was, but the look on his face said he was "What are these, tights? I will _not_ wear tights." I'm surprised I'm even doing this. "Yoga pants, you prude, now go get changed."

I walked out of the room down the hall. I saw the bathroom when I came up.

My dad would fucking kill me if he saw me right now. If he knew what I was doing! Mr. Mackley was going to put me in the play. I should kill him, but that would look bad on college applications.

And believe it or not, that actually does matter to me.

I sighed stepping back in. Bebe and Wendy stiffled laughs and Butters wouldn't even look at me. "So, what's this all about?"

"Well, we're doing a performance of West Side Story. Ever heard of it?" Bebe asked me. "Yeah; My mom tells me all about her days when she was in plays, you know, before the excessive drinking."

Well, that stopped the smiles. Thanks, Mom.

Wendy coughed, "Well, we needed Actors. We already have way too many girls involved in this."

"Look, I'm not going to like it, but I guess I've got to do what Mackley told me. Just... tell me what needs done."

"I need to see if you can be Tony to my Maria." Wendy said. She looked at Bebe, "Hit the track."

* * *

Butters P.O.V.

Something in the back of my head tells me that somehow, this was planned.

Wendy started the track while handing a lyrics sheet "Tonght, Tonight, It all began tonight..." And she was fantastic.

Yet nothing prepared me for the male part, "Today, all day... I had the feeling a miricle would happen. I know now I was right..."

How could he sing like that? He had a full Octave range and he dueted her perfectly.

Tears?! Why the hell was I crying? He was actually dancing with her. A very modern Waltz, with the occasional spin or turn.

I almost couldn't comprehend what was in front of me. Kenny McCormick, singing and dancing beautifully to one of the greatest musicals that has ever existed.

Wendy, was beet red when it was over. "Umm, (Cough) that was... well..." Bebe claps, "Bravo, fantastic! Where have you been all our lives?"

Kenny blushed now, "Look, my sister used to make me do that stuff when we were younger and she was into musicals.

I shook my head, an almost-smile on my face. He was not a very good liar.

* * *

Kenny P.O.V.

"Was it really that good?" I said, feeling my own cheeks flare with heat as the three of them starred me down. I looked at Butters, tears running down his face, "Are you okay?" I ask, suddenly concerned. He blushed, and Bebe laughed, "If you think that's bad, you should see when he watched Wicked."

I didn't think he could get much more crimson, but he did, "Shut up Bebe!"

"Enough you two. Umm, Kenny, you are very... very good. But that doesn't mean you get to take it easy! You have got to work a heck of a lot harder than just that!"

I sighed, "Wouldn't dream of it..."

But who knew someone could be so sore after two hours of dance practice? I've never been this sore in my life, even after six hours of basketball practice.

I walked out of the studio covered in sweat to watch Wendy drive off, leaving Butters standing there with his bag at his feet. He was wearing black shorts and a wrap around his ankle.

I wondered momentarly what that was about but I looked up to see him starring at me. "Hi?" He said.

I walked beside him and sat on the curve, "Hi." I said softly. He sat down too, "Tired?"

"You have absolutly no idea." I said, hanging my head down. He laughed, "You get used to it."

"Are you sure? We can't all raise our legs above our head quite like you."

He blushed, and coughed.

Then I realized what I'd said, "That was _so_ not what I meant." Then he laughed and rolled over on the ground.

"Gee, I didn't realize you had such a dirty mind, Butterscotch." I said, not looking at anything... Aside from the ground.

"When you make it obvious like that, what am I supposed to do?"

I laughed along with him. I looked at him.

The sun was shining in his hair, his eyes were closed from him laughing and you could obviously see his white teeth. He was nice when he was laughing.

"I wish you could be like this more often than you usually are." His laugh dies quickly and he looks down, no longer smiling. "Am I that bad?"

"You never smiled for me like that before." I said, fiddling with my coat zipper.

Now his look resembled something close to shame.

"I'm sorry..." He said, barely audible.

"It's okay. Just... try not to?" I offered.

"After all I said and you still want to be friends?" He said, looking at me with blue eyes.

Odd, he never showed me any of these sides. More often than not, he showed me anger, distrust and generally wasn't very nice to me. "Yeah, it seems like you're friends with everyone but me."

He shook his head, "You just seem so..."

"Rough, scary, mean, a loser, someone who has nothing going for him?" I said, recalling everything people ever called me.

He frowned, "I'm really sorry now."

"You aren't the one who said all that to me." I said, seeing I no longer had Cigarettes in my pack. "Yeah, but sometimes it helps to just hear 'sorry.' And I'm sorry I haven't made it much better. Tell me what I can do to make up for it."

I held out my hand, "Friends? We can start Monday."

He smiled and shook my hand, "Definatly." He looked up.

"My rides here, though." He said getting up and walking over to his parent's car.

"And Kenny?"

I look up, "I'm... really sorry for all I ever said. I... never really meant it." and then he shut the door and drove on.

And I watched the car until it dissapeared from sight and stood up. 'Monday... Monday things will change.'

* * *

**I hate that I took this long on such a short chapter. Plus, a lot of people like this story. Please forgive me people!**

**I have better music now, plus more ideas. my writer's block is cured!**

**Please Rate and review when you have the time! Love to you all!**


	3. When you're down

**My second update today. It makes me so happy to know I'm getting them done quickly.**

**Song for the chapter is Blue Sky by Francesca Batestelli.**

**Love it so much.**

* * *

Monday I awoke refreshed as I always did. But did I awaken just a bit... fresher than normal? Maybe so, because this was the day I could finally be friends with Kenny McCormick.

I was surprised he was so... complacent in the idea of being my friend even after all of the nasty things I'd said to him.

'_Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all..._' I thought, pulling my gray sweater over my head.

'_Maybe I could convince him to be so much more than just my friend... like I've wanted for... years now? Gee, how can I pine over one fella like that for so long?' _I thought, pulling up my jeans, with were dotted with tiny holes.

"Leopold! It's breakfast time!" Mother called from the kitchen.

Breakfast? Since when did my dysfunctional family do breakfast?

I wasn't a complete retard, contrary to popular belief. I actually was quite knowledgeable, and enjoyed entertaining the thought that people figured I was some naive childlike kid. And I knew my family was a complete disaster... well, aside from me.

But certain people, Like Wendy, Bebe, Stan, and Kyle knew better. Plus I knew Wendy and Bebe, and Stan and Kyle were banging. and they didn't want everyone and their mother knowing they were gays an lesbians. I was probably one of two openly gay kids at school, the other being Pip. I actually knew a lot people didn't assume I did.

"Coming Mother!" I said, wrapping a small scarf around my way too thin neck

I walked down stairs, trying to multitask and pull my snow shoes on.

"Good Morning, sweetie." Mom said, turning to kiss my head.

Dad was reading the paper (God, who still did that?) and he smiled at me.

I crossed my arms,"Okay, who are you people and what in the hell have you done with my own parents?"

"Butters, please watch your mouth, it's a good day." Dad said patting the seat between him and Mom.

My nostrils flared and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't the kid they nearly ruined, and I made it a point to remind them they didn't have as much influence on me as they once assumed.

I took a bite of my toast, "So what makes this day so special anyway?" I said, not caring that I was talking with my mouth full.

"Well, your father and I have some pretty big news to tell you."

Didn't every great story start out with that line?

Corny.

"Which is?"

"Butters... remember when you were a little kid and you told us there was one thing you wanted above everything else in the world?"

"I think so. Wasn't it 'Non-Psycopathic parents'?" I said, half kidding and half serious.

"No Butters... what we're trying to tell you is..." Dad started

"We want to adopt a little sister for you."

Milk hasn't come out of my nose before today.

"What the actual-"

"Butters, language." Mom warned.

"You want another kid? When I'm 16? I told you this eight years ago. Why now?" I asked, confused.

"You are growing up and you're going to leave and find... a man..." Dad said, obviously attempting and failing at an accepting tone, "And we just wanted to, you know have the chance to raise another. Maybe a nice young girl. We already have our sites on this beautiful young girl. She's grown up in Uganda. Her name is Leiliana."

How very...non-Ugandan. Must be a replacement name, since Leiliana was French.

"Just... go to school and let it sink in. I'm sure you'll be used to the idea by this afternoon." Mom said, putting a hand on my shoulders. I shrugged her off, "Yeah yeah, I gotta go. Stan is probably waiting on me. Bye guys."

And without another word, I walked out the door, slightly slamming it.

* * *

I yawned over my morning coffee. Monday was so not a 'Kenny' day. At least not until 3 o'clock.

"Gee dude, you look like death warmed over three times." Kyle said, taking a seat beside me, apple in hand.

"Where's your Siamese twin at, Ky?" I said, looking at him through my red eyes.

"Some whatever business thing at a college I guess. He'll be gone most of the day." He said, sounding dejected.

"Aww, does little Kyle miss his big strong top?" I mocked.

He punched my arm, "Shut the hell up. At least I don't mack on every open pair of legs in the school."

"I'm quite proud of that, actually." I said, triumphantly.

"Hey..." said the unknown voice coming from above us.

We looked up to see the another blonde starring down at us.

The way the light hit his hair and shone around his face...

I drank more coffee.

"Hey Butters... you okay?" Kyle said, looking between him and I.

"We're cool and stuff now, Kyle." I said, smiling at Butters.

"Yeah... but I'm still not very happy..." Butters said slightly smiling.

"Why not?" Kyle asked, running a hand through his red hair.

"Oh, my psychotic parents want another kid and were trying to be nice to me this morning. And you know those terrorists just piss me off something awful."

"They want... another kid?" I asked

"God, Butters, are you okay?"

I looked at them.

"What are you both talking about now?" I asked.

"Well, you know Butters parents..." Kyle said

And did I ever. His parents never made my life easy in the brief moments we've shared in each others presence.

"And?" I asked, still confused. Hey, I still didn't know him all that well!

"Well, Ken, it isn't easy when you know your parents think they failed in raising you." Butters said, starring at his apple juice.

"Could be worse; They could not realize they failed, failed three times and pretend you don't exist." I said, accepting my own parents terrible attitude.

Butters grimaced, and Kyle looked down. Kyle knew. And Butters caught on quickly.

The first bell rang and I stood up, "I gotta go to class. See you two later."

But I couldn't concentrate like I normally did.

I hated thinking about my own parents.

But Butters bringing up his own parents reminded me of how terrible they were.

They hit Kevin and I, and soon they would hit Karen, and that scarred me to no end. They let Kevin do whatever he pleased and ignored Karen and I.

I just wanted to smack both of them sometimes and say 'Wake the fuck up and realize what you've done!'

But I had no other home or money to speak of. So I just kept biting the nagging feeling in my mind to let my anger out.

I couldn't shatter Karen's already fragile state of mind.

I had to keep my cool.

But Dammit was it hard sometimes.

Class ended quicker than I'd thought and I walked out into the hall, determined to cool myself off with a smoke. I still had one cigarette left.

I stepped outside and walked around the corner, the unofficial, and illegal, school smoking area.

I lit the cigarette and took a long, long drag on it. After holding that for a good twenty seconds, I let it out and prepared another.

"Those things will kill you, you know?"

I looked down to see Butters, starring up at me.

"I could only hope."

"It's only second period and you're already taking a smoke break?" he said, like he knew my pattern.

"Yeah. Problem?"

"No... I just got a little worried. Wanna talk about it?"

"God, no." I answered.

He frowned, "Well you're going to." He said.

Then he snatched the stick from my fingers, take a drag on it, smash it and let the smoke out.

"There. No more distractions." he said, smiling.

My face heated.

Normally... I would've beat the shit out of him for doing that.

But watching him smoke and do that stuff...

It was kinda hot. Not gonna lie.

"You really don't wanna talk?"

"Not right now Butters... I just want to think for a bit."

And too add another surprise to the list of things Butters was going to do that day, he stepped forward and hugged me tightly.

"I'm always here for you, if you need me."

I put my arms around his waist, and hugged back.

"Yeah I get it... now get outta here."

He pulled away and sprinted back into the building.

Leaving me questioning this boy's intentions.

* * *

**Sorry for not updating in so long... I feel that people want to kill me for it.**

**I wanna kill myself for it. I'm terrible. But Love me because I've updated.**

**But anyway, to you lovely people...**

**Review my crappy story.**


	4. You Think You're in Control?

**Gee, people sure are liking my updates on this. I had no idea this was going to get so popular so quickly. My fans doubled over night!**

**But I've gotten a few reviews and i would love to talk back to you.**

**xsaiyomi-sanx: I'm glad you're glad. Are you glad i'm glad that you're glad?!**

**Summmmmer: Nah, i got this. Thanks for the offer! **

**Zukuto: Yes, I rather enjoy it as well... A no-bullshit Butters. **

**12KataangHeart's- Yayayayaya!**

**Anyway, the song for the chapter is Knarles Barkly- Crazy**

**Disclaimer: While I don't think Matt and Trey mind so much that I use their characters in my story, it's still not mine by any stretch of the imagination. These are the geniuses behind the idea of South Park.**

**Enjoy Chapter four my little guttersnipes.**

* * *

Maybe ignoring everyone all day wasn't a great idea.

I was happy to find out how many people actually worried about my white trash ass. Even Cartman was upset that I didn't respond to his usual jests and jeers.

I think that was his way of caring for everyone... but I would never know... or care enough to know.

Butters seemed particularly upset that I didn't talk to him

"I'll tell you at practice after school."

Oh yeah, and then there was practice for West Side Story after school, didn't I mention.

"Gee, Kenny, I'm glad I can help you with this... you're tighter than Fort Knox's vaults." Butters said, willing my leg to stretch above my head, which hurt like a mother fucker.

"Well, it isn't everyday I have my legs above my head, Butters."

Oh yes, I said that, and I meant it like that. That blush on his face was just perfect.

"Shut the hell up, Kenny." he said, raising my leg higher, "Ah, Jesus that shit hurts."

"I should make you do these excersizes everyday. You would probably be less stressed."

"Haha, not likely." I said, moving my bangs out of my face, which were already dripping with sweat.

"Now would probably be the time to tell me all about that. You promised."

Of course he had to ask while my leg was propped up like this.

"If you don't, I can hurt you from this position." He said, stretching my leg to it's max stretch.

"Let my damn leg down and I'll do it. This shit hurts." I said.

he put it down and helped me hoist up the other one.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything on your mind I suppose... I'm supposed to be your friend now, arent I?"

Well, yes he was. And I know his statement of concern was genuine because that's how he was but...

"How do I know you'll keep it all to yourself?"

"Well, I know a lot of things about people in this school and I don't say anything about that. I could turn this school upside down with what I knew. But I don't."

I sighed, he was probably right. I knew he wasn't... stupid or naive or whatever. But did I want to just tell him everything?

Maybe.

"Take off my shirt if you're so interested."

He blushed a bright and shiny red.

I sighed and he put my leg down and I shed my own shirt.

Then in the next instant he gasped.

* * *

Everywhere... they were simply everywhere.

Cuts, bruises, wounds of all shape and kind.

I almost wanted to cry when I looked at his chest.

"Kevin is much worse."

"Oh My God! Kenny! You haven't said anything about this?!" I said, putting my hand upon a bruise just above his stomach. He contracted a bit when I did, it must have been pretty new.

"Jesus Christ... How... are you standing up right now?" I asked.

"Pop a few painkillers in the morning and go on with my life. They've done it for years, Butters. You get used to it when it goes on that long. Like your own parents and they're mental abuse."

"But... they've never... ever..." I said and touched a scar over his navel a bit.

"It tickles when you touch me like that." he said, to which I contracted my hand and giggled only for a second.

"It's... not funny Kenny..."

"I think you look pretty funny right now, actually."

I slapped his arm, "And now _you_ abuse me too? Gee, and just when I thought we were getting somewhere..."

I wrapped his arms around my neck again, and I was...

Crying? Son of a bitch, I didn't look to strong right now

"I'm... I'm so sorry..." I muttered.

He put his arms on my waist again, "Ah, don't your tears on me. I'm just white trash and most people will tell you the same thing."

I pulled away from him and starred at him, "And I'll tell them what I'm telling you; No life, absolutly NONE, is forfeit. You have good qualities and talents such as any other human. So as to why you think such an incredulous thought is complete bullshit."

He wiped some tears away, "I meant... Don't waste the tears because I will prove each and every person who ever doubted me wrong. Understand? Now come here and quit your crying." He said, rubbing my back and letting me rest my head on his shoulders.

I sniffled, "Ken? Why ya bein' so nice to me?"

"What can I say? I cant stand to see a girl cry."

I slapped his back, slightly hard, "Shut up."

I pulled away, wiped my tears away and cleared my throat, "Back to stretching."

He nodded and I instructed him to lift his arms up.

* * *

I got home a little later than usual. Butters, Wendy, Bebe and a few of the other kids went out after practice.

And he was sweet enough to invite me along and help me pay for it.

'You don't eat enough, so you aren't leaving until you're full.'

'Is that so?' I told him.

'Even if we have to shove it down your throat.' He threatened.

Okay... so maybe I wasn't regretting this whole play thing after all.

I mean, I hated being on stage, hated the fact that I was the lead male, hated singing and all that stretching...

But it was worth it; I didn't laugh like that very often... it was... nice.

And I needed to hug that little blonde some more.

I'd thought about doing a few other guys in my life. But I'd never done it. But I'd done plenty of women.

It'd be a lie if I said Butters wasn't tempting in any ways. That innocence and those soft hands are nice.

And he's a warm little guy.

Damn that sex addiction.

"Kenny? I've been talking for, like, ten minutes and you haven't even said hi!"

I looked over at my sister, who was enjoying some random anime (Her thing these days... used to be mine) and I was ignoring her, which I never did.

"Sorry Karen, I'm just thinking about something."

"Who is she?" she asked.

"You automatically assume it's some girl?"

"Who is he?"

"Not what I meant." I said, catching how attentive she was getting these days.

"But it's always 'someone' Big Brother. How can I assume which gender it is? After all... to assume..."

"Makes an Ass of you and me, yeah yeah. Okay, it is a guy this time. But don't tell anyone, got it?"

"Yup!" She ran a finger over her lips to prove it. And she would take it to the grave if I asked her to.

"He's... I don't really know... just different than most of the guys I hang out with. Kind and caring and sweet and attentive... and pretty cute to top it off."

"So you're bisexual now?" She says, with absolutly no malice or any cares.

"I think I have been. But the right opportunity to be with another guy hasn't arisen, I guess."

"So this isn't your first guy crush?"

"This is my first one that may turn into something, but no."

"I bet he likes you too." she said.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Cause you're strong and nice and have a nice smile and always give the best hugs!" She said.

Oh, I wish I was eleven again. She still has that innocence that Keven and I had... before our parents hit us.

"Maybe you're right, but I'm not ready for that yet. Is that okay?"

"Uh-huh!" she said.

I smiled, "Well, I've got homework my little angel. I'll tuck you in later, okay?"

She nodded.

Then I ran upstairs.

Homework would take my mind off of the idea of thinking about this any more.

* * *

**Yet another short ass chapter.**

**Plot will get way more interesting, I swear it!**

**Please review... I need to know how bad I suck and what to do to improve. And I'll respond! I swear!**

**I'll also update asap. Probably thursday... Now to play lots of pokemon.**

**So Long, Farewell.**


	5. I Will Always Be

**I'm actually quite surprised at how quickly this took off...**

**It's defiantly not my longest or my best, but I still am enjoying writing it.**

**What the h is wrong with you people? lol.**

**No new comments, but a big thank you too the people who favorited and followed. I appreciate your time!**

**Song for this chapter is 1973 by James Blunt.**

**More angsty seriousness to come.**

**Enjoy, my homies.**

* * *

I sat at dinner twirling some of the noodles around my fork.

Honestly though, I wasn't hungry per say. My parents were gone... meeting with that damned adoption agency.

Honestly, if things kept going the way they were, I was going to have a serious break down.

And don't even get me started on the ultimatum that was the essence of Kenny McCormick. That idiot just lived with the basic principle that, 'Oh it's okay for my parents to beat me.'...

Well, maybe he didn't see it like that, but with his nonchalant attitude towards the idea didn't leave that thought to the imagination.

But then he had to make the point that my parents hurt me in different ways. And honestly, I approached them similarly. Because they really weren't different.

I sighed and hit my head on the kitchen table.

We really were self destructive assholes.

I got up, scrapped the food into our (My) dog's bowl and he barked happily and ate.

I pet his soft fur. And his stupid ass stopped eating, like I was going to hurt him for it.

Well, he was a rescue beagle after all.

"Come on, Goof. (Yes his name is Goofy! Don't laugh) I want you to eat until you can't eat anymore.

But his big brown eyes just starred at me like I was still trying to hurt him. So, I sighed, pet his back and walked away.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to the sound of buzzing (Is buzzing an actual sound?)

It was Bebe. '_Hey boo, u doin anythin? :)' _

I smiled at her absolute disregard to the english language. After all, it was totally her.

'_Not a lot, just sitting here with the dog.' _I typed the last part just as Goofy jumped up and put his head on my shoulder. It was our usual routine.

'_Good, Think Wendy and I could come over for a little bit? Maybe get some ice cream and watch a movie?'_

It was odd how they thought of me as one of the girls...

Was I honestly that girly? Yeah, I wore nicer clothes than most guys. And maybe I took more time on my appearance than most guys...

So what if I was in the drama club? Plenty of straight men were Broadway performers...

Okay, maybe I was. But I was NOT a flamer by any means.

_'Sure, I guess. Parents are supposedly staying with my aunt tonight since the closest adoption agency is in Idaho.'_

I waited for the return buzz, and worried about Kenny... again.

I pulled out my phone...

He _had _given me a phone number to text him at but he said his text was limited... didn't want him wasting precious messages when he may need it for an emergency...

I sighed and typed a 'hey' into my keyboard.

about twenty seconds later I got two vibes from my phone.

I looked at it again.

First was from Bebe, '_Got a preference on Ice Cream?'_

Second... Mom, _'Goodnight Sweetie. Dad and I will be back around 5 or so tomorrow. Lu.'_

I sighed and responded to Bebe with a '_Something laced with chocolate. And you make one comment about it going to my ass...'_

And Mom I said, _'Kk, see you then. Lu2.'_

I sighed and put my arm over my head. Who knows what he could be doing right now? He could be getting hurt or killed or some other awful thing...

I was about to press the call button when my phone buzzed with a message from, you guessed it,

Kenny McCormick.

_'What's up Buttercup?'_

I semi-smiled at the nickname, and responded, _'I was just sitting here... bored... and worried about you.'_

I waited a bit before he responded with a _'Don't be... I'm here all alone too. :)'_

I raised an eyebrow at that smiley face.

_'What are you doing then?'_

Bebe buzzed in, _'Fine, but don't come crying to me when you get an ass bigger than your head.'_

Kenny buzzed in, _'I'm not sure you want to know what's going on.'_

I sighed at Bebe's message and said, _'Just get over here already. I'm hungry.' _

Force of habit, really. I wasn't hungry but I was bored and my spaghetti was gone. Lucky my family had such high metabolism.

And then I responded to Kenny, _'But I'm genuinely interested. You aren't hurt are you?'_

I sat there, my heart racing and my body got hot from adrenaline. What could be going on? And was I making it worse by texting Kenny?

I nervously mashed my knuckles together like I had when I was a kid. Please let him be okay!

My phone buzzed twice.

_'Okay fat ass.'_

_'If you're really interested... I'm... masturbating.'_

I quickly typed my responses.

_'I am not a fat ass, bitch!'_

_'Oh Kenny, I wish you would've said something like 'pleasing myself' or something.'_

Then I sighed, my face beet red.

But then as I watched the message go off, I realized...

"Oh FUCK! I sent that to Bebe!"

I attempted to text them both a quick 'ignore that.' but of course, they got back to me first.

_'Well, okay. If you say so. I think it's pretty nice, actually. Slender.'_

_'Wtf? OMG, you're texting Kenny? Holy Crap, I'm speeding over there for details.'_

I flushed a dark red again. "Shit..."

I retyped responses.

_'That was meant for Bebe... Bebe got the message I sent to you. And... you think so?'_

_'Bebe, please don't make a huge deal about this... for me...'_

Next I heard a car park out front and my phone buzzed once more.

_'For a dude, it's pretty nice.'_

_'Thanks a bunch...g2g... asshole patrol is here.'_

I heard a bit of squeeling outside the door as it burst in and Bebe ran over and hugged me tightly.

"Oh God Butters, this is so great! So happy for you boo!"

Wendy was behind her, toting the ice cream, "Bebe, get off of him before you choke him."

My phone buzzed again.

_'G'night Buttercup.'_

* * *

I smiled at Butters text before I flipped the phone down.

I really hate Anatomy. The text book has so much stuff in it, and we just so happen to be working on the reproductive system...

Now while the book drawings aren't pleasing to the eye (Seriously, the women in those books need to shave their bush... ugh.)

It got me to thinking about a lot of things, a lot of things having to do with the reproductive system in practice...

And, well, why waste a perfectly good erection when you get one.

My mind was Dick deep into a perfect fantasy girl vagina when I suddenly get that text from little Butters Stoch.

I smiled as my thoughts shifted to him, on all fours in front of me, screaming my name and writing underneath me.

What can I say? He just popped there when I started texting him.

It was quite the task; texting the new object of my fantasy and jerking off to him.

But I decide 'Hey, let's tease him a bit.'

So I tell him what I'm doing... I could just imagine his face.

Or when I complemented his ass. I bet he loved the hell out of that.

But, all too soon, I came hard with his name on my lips a bit. Not too loud, though.

I was pretty tired and still had homework to do.

Well... fuck it. I had the weekend to do it. I layed on my cheap ass bed and layed back...

Only one thought was playing in my mind.

I was going to do him... no matter what it took.

That bastard took control of my fucking mind...

* * *

**Did you catch the line in the story? Title related and what not?**

**First person to tell me the line gets to chose the POV of the next chapters. ;)**

**Side notes:**

**Ugh... need a longer chapter.**

**It will get longer I swear to god! I worked so hard on this and people love it so much and I don't want to turn people away because I can't write longer chapters...**

**I'm just so busy trying to write this, work and do college and everything.**

**Bear with me! There's so much more of a story to this!**

**I swear! **

**Well I'll update in... ohh, two days or so. Maybe sooner if I get the time...**

**Love you all. :)**


	6. Things you don't understand

**Sorry Everyone. I'm a day late and a dollar short on this chapter.**

**I was going to update when I got home from work, but I was up till one in the morning doing paperwork for summer classes.**

**I decided that sleep was slightly more important than the story if only for a moment.**

**I will make up for it by updating this, Only in My Imagination, and Show yourself (Halfway done anyway) this evening cause I got done early.**

**No new reviews, but I did recieve several new followers and favorites. I appreciate that!**

**Song of the chapter is Stevie Wonder's Superstition.**

**Disclaimer: The Genius that is Matt Parker and Trey Stone created SP a good 15 years ago. I was four when it came out. Not mine.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

So, here I was in Mackley's Office again.

Only this time the reason behind why I sat here was a complete Enigma.

"How are ya doin Kenny, M'kay?"

I shrugged, "I, uh guess I'm okay."

"You certainly are, M'kay. Wendy tells me you've been completely agreeable and happy in the production. She says she would love to use you in the Junior play next year and the Senior plays, M'kay?"

I wasn't sure if I was as agreeable to that idea, per say, but I did appreciate the praise I'd recieved.

"That isn't the only thing you called me in here for, right?"

Mr. Mackley got a big smile on his face, "Nope. I've also got big news for you, M'kay?"

I sat forward, genuinely interested, "That so?"

He nodded and pulled out a big ass envelope.

"Kenny, your time, it seems, has come, M'kay?"

"No fucking way..."

It was a college envelope. I hadn't received any interest from any college... well except mechanical school. I mean my grades are pretty good but.. A school actually sent me a letter of interest? I could've cried... if I knew how.

"Now, this isn't an acceptance letter obviously," No duh; I was only a Sophomore, "But, this is an actual college taking interest in you. Not community or junior college; real education, M'kay?"

"As in I can do whatever I want?" I sounded pretty shocked.

"If you keep your grades up, I don't see why not."

I wasn't sure what to say... to have the option... to be able to leave South Park and pursue something I wanted to do... it seemed unreal.

Of course, I had no idea what I wanted to do by a long shot, but it didn't matter.

I could figure it out.

I smiled. "Mr. Mackley... I really don't know what to say..."

"How about a big 'Congrats' to yourself, M'kay?"

I nodded, "Definatly. I... gotta go tell someone."

I walked out, clutching the envelope such as one would clutch a life line.

But then... I spotted another life line; A petite blonde one.

"Butterscotch!" I yelled.

* * *

I quickly turned on my heels, only to see Kenny. Barreling towards me and a full sprint.

I started to run, "Oh God, Ken what did I do?!"

But he was too quick.

Expecting a punch, I was lifted into a big ol' hug.

"Kenny, what's gotten into you today?"

"College."

"You must've been hungry..." I said.

"Huh?"

"Nothing... what do you mean?"

He then held up the envelope, and I took it from him, he looked at me, waiting for me to read it.

_Dear Mr. McCormick,_

_We here at Colorado State University would like to offer you the opportunity to experience a whole new education experience at our school located in downtown Aspen. While we do realize you are still in your second high school year, understand it is never too early, or too late, to plan your future! We would greatly appreciate it if you would further inquire us so we could set up a time for you to visit us! Don't keep us waiting!_

_Sincerely__, _

_Martin Rivers, Dean._

And at the bottom of it, there was contact information.

It was a real University, and they wanted to meet Kenny McCormick.

My arms flung around his neck and his found their way to my waist.

"I'm proud of you, Ken!"

He nuzzled my shoulder slightly, "Thanks, Butterball."

He held me there for a while.

Well, until the realization hit that all good things come to an end.

"Gah! There's Butters and Kenny... Jesus, Craig!"

I turned around to see Craig Tucker's familiar blue Toboggan.

Only then did I realize he was pinning Tweek Tweak to a wall, and his head was dangerously close to his neck.

_'Well, isn't this an interesting develpoment...'_

Ever since that stupid fight in third grade, rumors about those two bagging had been floating around, due to their... close proximity.

But I never expected to see this cute moment in the flesh.

"Craig, you never told me you and Tweek were bagging."

"Gah! This is _way _too much to handle right now!" Tweek said, fiddling with the edges of his shirt.

Craig, smoothing his hair, turned to us, "And you basically fondle Butters ass on the regular. And you say you two aren't?"

I blushed, looking downward. Craig was pretty cute, until agitated.

"I, personally, haven't had such a pleasure."

"I bet you would though."

Oh, crap... their old rivalry was about to start. Craig, being the poised proper one with quick responses. And Kenny, cool, relaxed and comic one-liners.

I stood between them, "Guys... it was innocent. Craig, I am not dating Kenny. Don't be absurd. And Kenny, we won't say anything about this... will we?"

Kenny... looked dejected slightly, "Whatever, Craig can have his little piece. Guess I won't get the opportunity."

I looked up at him, "What's with the new attitude?" I said, frowning slightly.

"It's nothing." He said, turning with a sigh.

And then he left.

What a complete change in personality... what the hell happened?

"Wow... that was harsh Butters. Didn't know you had it in ya."

I glared at Craig, "And what, the fuck, are you talking about?"

"Kenny's ministrations, I don't believe, are any of my business unless he decided to unveil mine. It'd be up to him to tell you. Now if you don't mind, a little privacy..." He said, montioning to the ever fidgeting Tweek.

"I... so don't have time for this. Now I'm way late for class. I was supposed to be back ten minutes ago."

"Au revoir Butters." Craig said.

* * *

Absurd? Ab-fucking-surd. That asshole...

God, I was the one stupid enough to believe he was actually interested.

Maybe he just hugs everyone... treats everyone... is warm to everyone like that.

I punched a street sign that said no smoking, possibly denting it.

I pulled out my smokes, only to realize they were empty.

I threw the empty box on the ground and stomped on it.

"Fuuuuccckkkk!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

School was so not worth it to me at this point. Initially, I was going home.

But why bother? Go home to a family that hits me, hates me and wouldn't give a shit about this fucking letter that I just wanted to shred to pieces at this point.

Butters wasn't even remotely interested and I was a fucking moron for thinking it.

That was what I kept telling myself as I kept walking... no destination in sight.

* * *

**Bit more of an Angsty ending then I was hoping for, but I still loved it a whole lot.**

**I actually liked the turn I made there at the end... made it a bit more realistic.**

**Review this; I'm tired and want a milkshake.**


	7. Nothing Ever Could Compete

**So I'm at that point where I realize I'm a bit behind on my updating...**

**About a week behind...**

**Sorry bout that, been dealing with things lately.**

**I'm starting to get back to it but I decided I'd better keep at it to keep you maniacs away from my door with pitchforks. I was actually so far behind I had to go reread the last chapter to make sure I didn't f this up.**

**Sayomi-san: I'm on it I'm on it. And I'll consider that... But maybe as a side thing, something seperate. I'll think about it.**

**No other reviews (Keep reviewing, please. I don't even care what type of review, just make me feel special)**

**Song for the chapter is Adam Lamberts If I had you.**

**Disclaimer: I own my apartment and everything in it, but I don't own South Park. Yet.**

**Enjoy, Jews.**

* * *

I found myself at the Park in town starring out at the oceans waters. Clear as the mountain springs they ran from. If nothing else was good about this hick town, the nature was top notch when not covered completely in snow.

I busied myself by reading some school information in the letter and tossing rocks and whatever else I could find into the water.

But of course my mind drifted to one thing.

'_Kenny and I aren't dating. That's absurd.'_

Considering he doesn't have a damn boyfriend (As far as I knew anyway...) he should feel honored that the man whore of his town was willing to dump all of those whores for him.

But then that lead me to contemplate why I would in the first place? It's not like we got along in the past. It's also not like we'd been friends long. It's also not like he gave me amazing sex like some of these broads I had.

But maybe that was my issue; He didn't just put out like everyone else. But he still did other things those girls did. Like look pretty, hug you whenever, smell good (He smelled like cinnamon.) and yet he didn't do it because he wanted to sleep with me.

I mean plenty of those girls asked where all my scars came from but it was out of courtesy. Or to complement how sexy they made me look.

How do scars make you look fucking sexy? They make me feel hideous. And he was the only one, the only person who cared enough about someone he barely knew to shed a tear.

I can't remember anyone shedding a tear over me in my life. Except Karen, but she lived with them too so it didn't count.

He didn't have a much easier experience, I mean his parents were assholes through and through and they put him through torturous punishment all through his childhood and early teen years.

How did he still manage to care more for others than himself?

How did he manage to hold back the tears on his own experience?

Well, I guess God had a plan for that. Because it didn't take him long to find my ass, calling out my name as he did so.

He got out of his car, storming over to me.

"You had better have a damn good reason for leaving because I left school just to find you. And here you are..."

I shrugged, patting the spot beside me.

He took his seat and starred at me while I starred at the waves, the sunlight just cascading it's rays over it and giving it that perfect sunset feel.

"Kenny... please talk to me." Butters said

* * *

"That's what I want to talk about." he told me.

I was confused, "What in the actual hell are you talking about?" I asked

"Can I ask you a question, Butterball?" he asked, laying back to stare at the pink tinted clouds.

"I suppose you could, I'll need to see a credit card though." I said, laying back with him.

"How do you do it? That one looks like a penny, by the way." he said.

"Do what Ken? That one looks like a whale... or Cartman maybe..." I said with a giggle.

"Good one. Well, I showed you my scars the other day, Butters... and you out of all the people I've shown, you are the only one who shed a tear over it. Hey, it's a bunny rabbit." he said.

"That's not a question Kenny. Deformed fish." I said, sort of enjoying our question-answer-and-look-at-clouds game.

"Well, what I was going to ask is that you could cry over me... why can't you cry over your parents? They don't treat you that much better. That one's a flower, too."

"They've never put a bruise on me. They wouldn't do that type of thing to me... That looks like a drum..."

"Maybe not on your body... but what about your heart?"

"I got tired of crying over myself, Ken. There were people out there who had it way worse than I did and I figured that I could go to college somewhere far away and make my life how I wanted it to be. Then I saw you... it was hard to hold it back. You, in my own mind, had it way worse than I did." I said.

"Depends on who you ask. Mental abuse can hurt."

"Only for the weak-minded. Those scars can heal if you let them."

"I guess that's why you came out of the closet so early, huh?"

"I knew for a long time. But it made anything I decided to do that much easier."

"Like Drama club and things like that?"

"And my piercings, and my tattoo..."

He sat up, "Show me. Now. I want to see this."

I felt my cheeks get hot and my face break out in a smile, "No way! No one has noticed yet. I don't think you'll let me live it down."

"I swear I won't laugh once." he said.

I sighed, "They're... under my shirt. Besides my tongue..." I held it out to show him a simple clear ball in my tongue.

"You've seen me without a shirt... It's only courteous." He said, slightly winking. as he leaned forward if only a little bit.

I smiled, "Well... I don't want to be discourteous, do I?"

And then I lifted my shirt. My skin would be perfect if you ignored the nipple and naval piercings. And the tattoo.

"Is that the Raisin Bran sun?"

"Just my reminder to eat a good breakfast in the morning."

He put his fingers over it. "It's good work... Jeremy do it?"

"How'd you know?" I said with a laugh.

"I just do..." His fingers trailed over my belly button ring.

Well... this was... slightly erotic for me.

"Uhh... when you touch it like that, it tickles."

He chuckled, "Does it now?"

"Just a little bit."

"Hmm... take your mind of of it..." He said, looking up at me.

His eyes holding mine for what felt like hours in a few seconds, "How about..."

He leaned in slightly, lips brushing my cheek slightly, then pulling away, to smile smugly.

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his cheek.

Then he kissed me on my lips. This time with no hesitation.

* * *

He tasted incredible. Better then he smelled even. He tasted like chocolate. He tasted like perfection.

He kissed back feverishly, wrapping his arms around my neck to bring me closer.

It seemed cliched, but I pulled him on top of me to continue.

I felt him open his mouth to move his tongue in. I giggled and opened mine.

He initiated that, but I easily dominated him, running my fingers through his soft blonde hair.

He pulled away to smile at me, "I've liked you for a while, by the way."

"That so?"

"It's kind of why I treated you the way I did. Didn't want you to think I liked you." which honestly made a lot of sense

"I'm glad you're helping me realize that. I like you a lot too Buttercup."

"So, was that you asking me out?"

"No. That was me asking you out on a date. Then we'll be going out."

"Well then, Kenny McCormick, I happily accept your offer." he said, seemingly happy that I wanted to make our relationship special.

But moments have to end, don't they? On top of all other cliches there are in this putrid world of ours, right before we continued our kiss his phone buzzed.

"Parents want me home..."

I stole one last kiss too (Also way too cliche) and smiled at him "I'll be over on Friday around 7. I'll have you back home by Sunday." I said, laughing.

He kissed my cheek for the umpteenth time, "I'll work out those details later." he said dusting off his pants and standing.

I stood and hugged him.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow."

* * *

**There. Now you call all forgive me.**

**Or can you? Hahaha! I'm an evil bastard... by next update you'll realize what I mean.**

**But until then, enjoy a little fluff. Next week Limes appear.**

**Love.**


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